The terms, in plain English

Who you're dealing with

OnTheBlower is a UK answering service operated as a sole trader business. Questions, problems, cancellations: email hello@ontheblower.uk and you'll get a reply from a human.

What you're buying

An AI phone assistant plus your number. Plans: Pay as you go at £5 a month plus 50p per answered minute; Starter at £20 a month including 60 answered minutes; Busy at £45 a month including 150 answered minutes. Extra minutes on bundles are 40p. There's a £10 one-off admin fee when we set up your number. Minutes only count while the assistant is actually on a call, calls you pick up yourself, wrong numbers and instant hang-ups don't count. Texts your assistant sends (call alerts to you, follow-ups to your customers, both optional and off unless you switch them on) are 5p each, added to your next bill. Texts are one-way notifications sent under the "OnTheBlower" sender name rather than a number, recipients can't reply to them. You can switch plans any time from the next billing month.

Cancelling

No contract. Cancel any time by email, your service runs to the end of the month you've paid for and nothing more is charged. If we've taken your admin fee but your number never goes live, we refund it in full.

Refunds

If the service breaks and we can't fix it within a reasonable time, we'll refund the affected period. If you're unhappy in your first 14 days, email us and we'll refund your first month, we'd rather part friends.

Your side of the deal

Phone numbers are regulated, so we need three promises from you: the details you give us (business name, address, contact) are accurate and kept up to date; the service is used for lawful business purposes only; and if a carrier or regulator requires us to confirm who a number is allocated to, we can share those details with them. If a number is being used for anything dodgy, fraud, harassment, misleading callers, we can suspend it immediately while we sort it out with you.

The sensible stuff

Your assistant answers based on the information you give it, keep your prices, hours and straight-through rules up to date. It never gives quotes you haven't approved. Call summaries and messages belong to you; we don't sell or share your data, and we only keep what's needed to run the service. The AI is very good but not a human, for anything safety-critical, the straight-through transfer puts callers directly on to you.